[This is from a paper I wrote for my Christian Vocations class. It was a project entitled "My Journey Thus Far"...]
You’ve seen the movies – the main character on the edge of death, reflecting on life and where they’ve been, who’s been important to them, what they’ve learned and faced, and wondering where they’re going. Life and death experiences tend to do that to you. But why should only the thought of death cause us to reflect on the journey and purpose of Life? Why not reflect now?
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| I took this photo in Colorado this summer :) |
So, here’s my journey. It’s like an Epic - God as the author, and each chapter a different phase of my life. Sometimes I try to grab the pen and write it myself, but the ending never seems to work out just right. So, I’ll tell you what God has written and is continuing to write. Close your eyes and let me tell you a story. My story begins thousands of years ago, as a dream in God’s eyes before the creation of the world. “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart...” (Jeremiah 1:5). My name is Johanna Elizabeth – which means consecrated, or set apart, by a gracious God. I was born in Colorado, and then moved to Texas and across the big pond to Romania all before I was 9 months old. I grew up as a “missionary kid”, learning two languages and growing up in a world that was very different than the country stamped on the front of my passport. Living overseas helped formed my global perspective on life and gave me a glimpse into the Father’s heart for the nations. Also, being a missionary kid is part of why I have empathy for and a desire to be hospitable to those who do not “fit in”. When my grandmother became very ill with cancer, we moved back to the United States; I felt firsthand the pain of culture shock and not “fitting-in”. Although I loved adventure and discovering new places, I was angry at God for making us come to this foreign land with foreign people. God proved his faithfulness, though, and blessed our family with a good home, new friends, and a more years with Grandma Sue, which was an unexpected blessing. I learned to love being with family, since my parents decided that schooling me at home would be the best thing to bring consistency and security in a world of change for our family. But the thirst for adventure still coursed through my veins – I was a tomboy through and through, running around outside barefoot nearly every day that I could, with my never-combed hair flying in the wind and gun holsters strapped to my shorts. At eleven years old, I officially began my adventure of a relationship with God, symbolizing my commitment to Christ by getting baptized in the bathtub at our old house in Romania. All that I have learned since then would take chapters and chapters to write, but the greatest thing about my story is that my relationship with God has become more and more real ever since. God is no longer just a being that my parents taught me about. He is as real to me as my own dad, and I love the way He’s writing my story.
Every storybook has that front page that says, “Dedicated to ______”. This is my dedication page to the people who have had a formative role in my life. They are my supporting characters in my story, who have helped to guide me along the journey. Although it may sound cliché, my parents have played the most important role in my life. They have taught me who God is and how to have my own personal relationship with Him, offered wisdom when troubles arose, given me opportunities to explore the world through missions, showed me how to love people and see them with Jesus’ eyes, and so much more than I can ever thank them for. They have instilled in me a love of learning, life, family and all people – no matter their age, stage, or level of development. My sister Abigail has also been an integral part of my story. I’ve shared a room with her ever since I can remember, and some of those late night conversations full of wisdom and insight from my big sis have changed the way I look at life, calmed my fears, and brought clarity to messy situations. Growing up with Abby was a rollercoaster ride… there were definitely moments when we wondered why God ever made us sisters – those were mostly in middle school – but life with her has shaped who I am today. Of course, the older sister is always the guinea pig, so she taught me how to do homework, write papers, cry over math problems, draw beautiful pictures, write transcripts, apply for college, succeed in school and all that jazz. However, she also showed me how to care for others with a sensitive heart, think critically and deeply about social justice issues and missions, speak in front of others with confidence, to name just a few. Of course, there are many other people who have played significant roles in my life (I have been blessed with an incredible family!) but I would like to mention my pastor Don and my church family. I call it a family because that is the greatest thing that my church, New Covenant Fellowship, has taught me: the Body, the Bride of Christ, the Church is the family of God.
My church doesn’t prescribe to a specific denomination; it was started in a house around twelve years ago and has always been a small fellowship of believers who gather together to read the word, worship and be the Body of Christ. Of course, my main understanding of Christianity stemmed from the teaching of my parents, but my church has played an essential part in emphasizing the priesthood of all believers. Ever since we’ve been worshipping with New Covenant Fellowship, the church has always invited me and my sister to be a vital part of serving at church, whether that means leading worship, sharing a devotion before communion and offering, leading a Bible study or teaching the children in kid’s class. I learned that there is no age limit to being a part of the Kingdom of God, for Jesus said that if we become like children, we can enter it. This has been my church’s greatest gift to me. I have learned what worship is, how to lead, what songs are appropriate, how to work with others and take advice, etc. It is a visible and practical example which stems from the core belief in the priesthood of all believers.
In the same line of thought, 1 Peter 2:9 says that “you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.” I am chosen for a royal purpose, with a divine calling on my life. For a long time I was afraid that life was more like a maze than a storybook, terrified that I might go the wrong way, hit a wall and mess up God’s plan. However, God’s plans are not meant to trick us or confuse us. He invites us into His Epic Tale that he is creating, and calls us higher, further, farther. Our calling as children of God is to declare the glory of God in ALL that we do. Though my specific calling is still yet to be completely revealed, God has shown me that I am called to be a missionary of the gospel, proclaiming His word to those who are in need of medical services/therapy and Jesus’ love. In addition to medical missions through occupational therapy, God has called me to be, in the words of a dear friend, a “supermom”, planting trees that will last through generations and bear the fruit of the Spirit. Raising children is like the training up of missionaries, and one of the most sacred jobs on the planet. I can’t wait. God’s also called me to be a dynamic speaker and fight against injustice, protecting those without a voice, whether they are unborn, disabled or elderly. Why? Because all life is sacred, has value and is created in the image of a holy God. In addition, I will be given opportunities to speak against the lies that the Enemy has used to bind our generation, setting free the captives bound to culture-defined terms of image, beauty, femininity, rights, and the role of women. He gave me the gift of public speaking, and I know that He will use that in mighty ways, as well as the gift of languages. Someday, I hope to be completely fluent in Spanish so that I will not be hindered by a language barrier when serving the Latino-Hispanic community. God has also gifted me with the love of music, art, and design. I want to be able to glorify God through displaying His beauty and worshipping Him through all mediums, whether it is paint or piano keys. These are just a few of the things that God has revealed to me along my journey. I’m learning that whenever I can be still and know, God speaks into the stillness. Like the story of Samuel, I am continually reminded to say, “Speak Lord, your servant is listening!”
So, that’s my story; a small, but important, part in the Epic story that God is telling. God is inviting us in to be a part of His Story: History. We all play vital roles in the grand adventure: some days we feel like a hero, other days we feel more like the damsel in distress, but in God’s story we are the Bride. Jesus is our Hero, the Holy Spirit is our guide, and God is our Author. But, there’s an Enemy, too – he seeks to tear out every page and blot out every beautiful word, encouraging us to take the pen and write our own story. My biggest obstacle in fulfilling my God-given calling is my false sense of control over my own story, but I must continually remind myself that God has called me into a larger story that is written more eloquently than I could have imagined. When I am near the end of life and contemplating the story God has written in me, I want to look back and see His faithfulness and how He’s used me, knowing that the story has just begun and there’s an eternity left to live. In the words of songwriter Sara Groves, “Why would I want to live for man, and pay the highest price? And what does it mean to gain a whole world, only to lose my life? You can live for someone else and it will only bring you pain. I can’t even judge myself, only the Lord can say, ‘Well done.’ Now I live and I breathe for an audience of one, because this journey is my own.”
