It’s said that the surest way to make God laugh is to tell him your plans… ain’t it the truth. We’re pretty pretentious creatures, aren’t we? I am, at least. I pretend to know what God is doing in my life – or, even worse, plan it for him. Hey God – what’s new? I’ve got a plan for my life I’d like to talk to you about – just wanted to check it with you first before I plow ahead… What’s that? You already have one for me? Well, you know, I’m sure it’s good and all, but I really like mine. I mean, it was my idea, so… Doesn’t that sound ridiculous? Or just maybe a little too familiar?
I’m convinced that Jesus’ pride and joy is delighting his children with the small things in life – the letter in the mail from your best friend, the friendly smiling cashier who made your day, the fall leaves that remind you of pure beauty. It’s the unexpected things that delight us – yet, we can’t plan those.
My life is full of Johanna’s botched plans replaced by plans of God that are unexpected, maybe even unwelcome at first, but with glorious endings. One of the biggest unexpected turn of events in my life occurred last winter. As college plans dangled like a carrot in front of me, I fretted about finances, scholarships and grades, to no avail (really, you’d think I’d learn by now that worrying is absolutely pointless). Then, I got a letter in the mail from UIndy stating that I was being considered for a Presidential Scholarship. Perfect - I thought - God is going to take care of my college bills in this way – poof. Ta da! Okay, now to worry about something else… But after waiting for weeks, I found out I was not invited to the scholarship competition. What? Am I not smart enough? Good enough? GOD! Why would you DO this to me! But God desired to show me that God’s provisions has nothing to do with my abilities or inabilities – probably one of the hardest lessons I have ever learned.
In the course of a few weeks, I was surprised with a phone call saying that some students had backed out of the competition, and that there was now room for me. I smiled inside, and God spoke – See? I wanted to show you that you did not get here by your own strength. Trust me. So, I had to trust God and not have to want to know exactly what God was doing… My first thought was, Why get my hopes up? He’ll just take away my dreams again… But I had to remember the Truth: God is good.
So, the saga continues, and I arrive at the competition on February 14th. God kept me going the whole day: I met new friends, did my best, enjoyed campus life… and then waited. Again. Would I get the scholarship? Would I be good enough? To be honest, I came to a peace about it. It didn’t matter whether not I got it (well, it did… but, you know what I mean :) it mattered that God had proven himself faithful and given me an opportunity to share God’s glory on campus and glorify Him through doing my best. That’s what God called me to do, and as long as I learned that valuable lesson, the outcome didn’t matter. It’s the refining that counts.
Of course, the biggest turn of event that rocked my world was that I actually got that crazy scholarship. Best. Valentine. EVER. WHAT??? But the point is not that I got a scholarship - the big deal is that I learned it was NOT of my doing – it was God’s – and even if I hadn’t gotten it, God would still be good. His goodness transcends our perceptions and emotions relating to our present circumstances.
So, to wrap it all up – God delights in surprising us, fulfilling our desires/dreams, planning awesome adventures we could never plan, and so much more. Just because we don’t know what’s going on doesn’t mean that God is not good.
The End :) er.... The Beginning
